A stug dilemma
by Hollyoaker123
Summary: ONE SHOT . Doug is in hospital after leaving ste. He thinks that ste doesn't love him anymore. Will ste prove him wrong ? :)


.

Doug's pov

He doesn't love me anymore , I can tell he still loves Brendan ! I've known this for a while but I suppose I have just let it blow over for the sake of my happiness and Leah and Lucas . I love them so much like they are my own children and I couldn't lose them . The person who I love most though has no idea what he means to me !

Why Ste why can't you love me ! I'm not like Brendan, I would never hurt you but it's just not good enough is it ! I'm in the car at the moment. I don't know where il go but I can't stay here . Ste will find out later when I don't come back. I left my stuff there not that I have much anyway . He is all I want but there is no way he can prove to me he feels the same .

I'm so drunk right now I can barely see . I think I must of had four or five vodkas before I left . I tucked the children up and hit the endless road with another bottle of vodka and three cans of beer just over an hour ago. I'm keeping my wedding ring and the first deli photo we ever took together . Il never forget him and my life is over now he has left it . Well I have left him but only so he can be happy and love someone he wants to . He is just too nice to say !

I'm on my way to the airport . I think il just go home to America . My parents will be happy I suppose . They never liked me being gay and never will . They will give it three weeks and have me lined up with some babe down the road !

I really can't see right now . The world is going all fuzzy . Oh god where is the steering wheel ! I'm lost in the dark . There is a light ahead I think and it's getting closer . Oh god I'm in the wrong lane ! I can't escape . It's getting so near I'm losing control! My steering wheel won't work I'm going to die ! Just close your eyes Doug heaven will be waiting . As the world goes black just think of Ste , bye world . I love you Ste !

Ste's pov

I can't believe Doug sometimes ! I wanted one drink with him and Sinead and an hour before he comes to me and tells me he is not in the mood! That's Doug though to be honest , so unpredictable . I don't think I could love anyone as much as him . That's the whole reason I wanted him here tonight , I have to be with him all the time. It doesn't feel right if not ! Even our Leah came up to me last night and told me she wished I had met daddy Doug when she was younger , everyone loves him !

I think il go home and snuggle up with him . I know he likes that ! I'm not sure what's wrong but he looked upset tonight . He said goodbye strangely and said he might go out for a drive . Doug never drives anywhere . He just goes up the road when we have an argument sometimes . But we haven't argued I don't think . Ah Sinead has bought another round , I think il have this first . He will probably be asleep anyway .

Ste's pov

I've just had a call . I was half way though my last pint when the phone rang . The beauty of Beyoncé's voice filled the pub and well that's all I can really remember . I'm sat in a taxi right now , and Sinead is with the kids .

I only listened to the first few words of the call . It was Lindsey . She just muttered in a panicked voice "Doug's been in an accident , he is alive but we really need to to come down here" I had dropped the phone after that and stumbled over to Sinead in bits . She rung a taxi and I'm just coming up to the hospital now .

What was Doug doing ! He is the most careful driver I have ever met ! What if he doesn't recover or when I walk through those doors they say I'm too late ! It can't happen . I'm not getting out of this car ! Oh shut up Ste you have to go ! He will be fine just keep telling yourself that !

Ste's pov

Their taking me to him now . I'm so scared , usually it's me that ends up in here , not Doug! This must be what it felt like when I got hit by the mini bus last year ! Poor Doug he had to do this on our wedding day ! Lindsey said its touch and go but I know my Doug will wake up I just need to see him that's all !

He is in a private room . I'm about to open the door but I can't bare to look through the window . Why did this happen to him ! It should have been me ! Ok Ste open the door you can do this !

I'm looking at him now . I'm an inch into the room and I can't breathe . The tears rolling down my face are making puddles on the floor I can barely move !

Doug looks like he is sleeping . There are tubes and wires everywhere . They say he has been induced into a coma . Just so he can heal and doctors can make sure he is ok . I want him to wake up ! I know the doctors are right but if he just woke up he would be fine , I would look after him like he did to me !

I suppose I will just have to wait . They said there is a 50 percent chance he will wake up . But I know that's crap because Doug won't die 100 percent all the way !

I've made a pillow out of my coat and my head is resting against his , as I sit on the chair . I'm not going to leave his sight ever again !

Ste's pov

It's been two days . He is still the same . Doctors say that they want to try and wake him up . I know he will ! Leah and Lucas came yesterday. Leah drew an angel and named it daddy Doug she told me that it helped me wake up last year when I was in this state . We sung songs to him and Lucas turned the hospital tv to Doug's favourite cooking channel . They love him so much , sometimes more than me I think ! But that's ok because we are a team . That's why I can't lose Doug I need someone to help me through life , he is the one to do it !

Ste's pov

They have just been in to wake him up . Apparently he has responded well and will come round in just a few hours . I can't wait to see his beautiful blue eyes look at me with the passion they always have done . And I can't wait to tell him off for driving like that ! According to the police he was in the wrong lane . He must have been drunk ! Doug never gets drunk?

I'm sat here in this uncomfortable blue chair waiting for him to open his eyes . I hope it will be soon . My hand is wrapped around his , our wedding rings together . I stroked his hair and rested my head along his arm .

I looked at him , completely fixated on his oxygen mask that had replaced his tube and watched it fill with his warm breath. I smiled as it showed a sign that we were getting closer ! I began to drift off in the same position when I was suddenly woken . My hand was being clenched by his , he was waking up !

Doug's pov

I feel like crap ! My whole body hurts. I can't move ! Why can't i move ? At the moment I don't feel like opening my eyes , I just can't . I thought I was dead until I felt his hand ! I'm either in a Ste heaven or he is here by my side . I want to open my eyes and look at him but I'm so exhausted it's really hard . He is going to be so mad with me but I'm not sure why I feel like this . Am I in hospital or did I just have a punch up with Brendan and I'm hung over on the couch ?

Ste's pov

I am talking to him so he will open his eyes ! Doug please show me your coming round . If you can hear me squeeze my hand . He isn't doing anything . Why aren't you doing anything ! I've put my head on his chest . I can feel his heart beating in sync with mine . I love you Doug !

I was just laying there when I felt his hand move again . I am slowly lifting my head to find his dreary half closed eyes staring straight into mine ! " oh Doug " I cried " you scared me there for a bit ! I love you soooo much you silly man ! " I kissed him and called the doctor ! I'm so happy he is awake I missed his eyes and his voice and his kisses his wonderful kisses !

Doug's pov

I'm in hospital ! What have I done ! The last thing I can remember is tucking up the kids ! Ste is looking at me and kissing me again and again ! I want to kiss him back but I'm too weak ! My body hurts to move so I have tilted my head with all my energy so I can stare at him and hold his hand . I look over at the table and see a picture of an angel and a Ribena juice box . Leah and Lucas have been here . How long have I been out of it ? My muffled voice begins to crack when I try to talk " ste " I whisper "I'm sorry about this ste , I love you!" Ste just looks at me with tears rolling down his face and hugs me tight ! I can't help but smile!

Ste's pov

We have been talking for a while but doug looks a right state . He is still staring at me but I can see him drifting off . He must be exhausted ! I love him so much ! I'm going to get the kids soon and Leanne and Texas are on the way .

Doug's pov

Ste told me I was in a car crash . I only drive when we have an argument , so I can get it out of my system . But we haven't had an argument for a month or so ! Why was I driving ? unless...

Ste's pov

Leanne and Texas have just gone in to him . I'm going home to tell the kids and take them off Sinead . She has been worried too ! Everyone loves Doug they were devastated when they found out ! As long as he is alright that's what matters !

Doug's pov

I am so happy to see Leanne and Tex . I can talk to them , they always know what's wrong . Leanne is sat on my left and Texas on the right . They are both crying but happy tears I think ? That's them though , the typical emotional girls ! I am trying to pull myself up and Texas is pulling my head forward so I can try and raise myself from laying down . I feel so embarrassed I can't even pull myself up , I must have broken nearly 4 ribs and my collar bone . Leanne is laughing at Texas trying to help me up but it's no use !

I have decided that I was leaving Ste so he could be with Brendan . That must have been why I was in the car . I know everyone will ask why I was driving but I can't tell them that , not after what ste has done for me over the last few days .

I think il tell Leanne and Tex they would understand because they know what I think about Brendan ! Their looking at me all sympathetically and Leanne is scoffing the chocolates they brought for me . I start to try and tell them but I don't know what to say . " I need to talk " I mutter " before ste comes back " the sound of nigella goes down on the tv and Texas is sat on my bed " what's up sweetie " Leanne chuckles " do you want a doctor are you ok " Texas says looking concerned . " I don't need a doctor " I reply " but I'm not ok . Not really" . They stare at me . It's the first time we have all been together in months . " it's the whole car business " said Texas " you and ste had an argument didn't you "? " no " I said " it's worse than that " " what like breaking up worse "said Leanne , as she began on the chocolates again .

I am looking down and swallowing hard , oh god how do I reply ? " urrrm yes sort of " I say looking guilty and relieved at the same time . " he hasn't ran off with Brendan again has he ? I'll get him you know that man"! Texas says looking worried . " no no no " I insist " I was leaving him so he can be with Brendan " I say now starting to cry . Leanne jumps on the bed and flings her arms around me , with Texas on my other side , her head on my shoulder . " you have been through a lot Doug " Texas says " yeah your confused ! Ste loves you not Brendan silly " Leanne says .

I decide to leave the conversation there as they are not going to believe me . I know it's true though ! It's coming back to me I can remember what I was doing ! I was so wrong ! Ste does love me , but I need to tell him some how !

I'm really dizzy it's weird . The girls have called a doctor to be safe but I'm fine ! Texas looks worried about me , as always . Leanne looks concerned as well they think I've gone mad! " it's ok hunny , I think you have just had a bump on the head " Leanne is saying stroking my hair . Lindsey has come in and Texas is talking to her around the corner .

" come on Doug why don't we lay you down so you can have a rest . Your just a bit concussed " says Linsey . The girls are on the way out . Texas gives me a kiss and Leanne takes the chocolates ! Ha I love them !

Ste's pov

Texas has just told me that Lindsey said Doug is concussed . She said he was talking nonsense about leaving me so I could be with Brendan . I don't want to be with Brendan . I love Doug ! Leanne said that he was talking all sorts of nonsense but why that , it must at least be on his mind for him to mention it . Should I talk to him ?

I'm on my way up to the hospital now , I should probably leave him to rest . I won't say anything il just watch over him as he sleeps . The doctors said it was a bad accident , the other person didn't make it ! But Doug is in a frail state , they said anything could still happen ! I just hope that he doesn't think I love Brendan , because it would devastate him and he really needs to know I love him right now!

Doug's pov

Ste has come in , he said the children are fine , that's good ! I really don't feel like talking at the moment but he needs to know ! He probably already does , he's not stupid . He must have known that I would find out . The way he looks at the man gives it away for starters , and he is always going up to their flat . I hate him for it ! Why would he let me go on loving him when he doesn't feel the same ! I need to tell him so he can be happy . All that's important to me is that he is happy .

" Ste " I say " we need to talk " . He is just sat there with his adorable goofy smile , holding my hand . How am I going to do this to him ! " what's wrong Doug" Ste's saying . Oh god now what do I say . Oh god Doug just tell him ! " you can't be with me Ste " I'm looking at his all of a sudden straight face . " why not " he says trying to hold it together . "Because your in love with Brendan " I say releasing my hand from his grip . " I am not in love with that thug ! I love you ! I married you , not him ! " ste is now shouting and crying all at the same time ! " so why do you look at him in that way that you used to look at me ! " I cry . " why do you not love me as much , am I not good enough for you !" " you are the best person I have ever met Doug I love you with all my heart , and the day you proposed made it all real . You are not just my husband , but you are my safe place , and the person I go to when I am in trouble ! I used to love Brendan but I don't know why ? He beat me , battered me, controlled me . Why would I want him back ? I'm not in love with him ok " ste is on the floor now grasping my hand , crying . It's not good enough ste I just don't believe you . That's what I'm thinking but I can't tell him that .

My chest really hurts now ! That's from me shouting ! I should never have said anything ! Oh god it actually is really bad . Oh I think I'm gonna pass out . Put your differences aside for a minute doug and tell him now !

" ste my chest really hurts , can you get a doctor please " he has got straight off the floor and is pulling a chord . " Doug can you hear me ? Doug !" Ste is shouting but I can't hear him ? " I love you " I'm trying to say , but everything is going black again . I'm sorry Ste

Ste's pov

No doug noooooo ! You can't do this ! Don't leave me like this ! Lindsey help him ! Please ! She is running in there now. He is flat lining ! Oh god no ! Shock one , nothing . Shock two nothing . He is going to die . No don't take him , he needs to know I love him ! Shock three .

His heart is beating again ! Oh god thank you ! I'm crying more than ever , I need to go back in , please let me go back in ! Lindsey is coming out to me . " Doug suffered a cardiac arrest .

They are very common after a situation like this . But it's been two days I am surprised" Linsey looks like she is staring at me for the answer . " we had a fight " I say , tears rolling down my face. She hugs me tight but then she stands up firm . " I told you to let him rest , with no stress ! " . " he is very vulnerable " she says looking at me !

I didn't say anything back . I couldn't . It was my fault . That's why he was running away and had a crash , and that's why he just nearly died ! He is heart broken ! But so am I . I need him so much and by the looks of things , he needs me too! I just confide in him when I need to , and everything is always ok . But he never tells me what is on his mind . He must be really hurting . How could I have done this to him ! Texas said I don't know the half of how he is feeling all the time , she said some days he seemed so down she was worried about what he might do! I never took any notice , he would seem fine to me at the flat .

I'm sat by him now , he will wake up soon . I need to show him I love him , more than anyone in the world . This can't happen again . I have told Texas and Leanne what has happened . They are on their way . I have a great idea . But I need time . They can sit with him and give me time !

Texas's pov

I'm sat here with him now . How could ste have done this to him . He is still out of it but I already know what happened . Maybe Doug wasn't concussed and he meant what he said . Ste has left him before for Brendan , why wouldn't he do it again? Doug is such an amazing person ! And deserves to be treated like it. It's not all Ste's fault though. Why does Doug come and confide in me ? He should do that with Ste . Ste has no idea what's been going on with him . I suppose he is not to blame ? But why Doug? Why run away , from me ! Your like my brother , I love you so much !

He is coming round . His eyes opened and he looked at me and smiled. Leanne has gone to help ste . Something about a surprise ? I hope Doug stays with him , they are good together I suppose . I think I'm just protective of him .

Doug's awake ! " where's ste " that's all he is saying " we have to talk " ! I look at him sympathetically and give him a kiss . He smiles but doesn't say much. " what happened " he says . "You had a heart attack " I say " but your going to be fine now " . " could you pass me the water he says , as he holds his hand out . " no il do it , you will only spill it like that !" I say grabbing the cup. He looks upset but , i tilt his head forward and he grabs the straw .

" we had an argument Texas , is that why he is not here? " . " no Doug , he is doing something for you to cheer you up" I say as I sit down . " you got it really wrong Doug he does love you a lot , you know that right ? "

Doug's pov

That's just great isn't it ! I've had a heart attack because of how upset I was and he isn't even here ! I should never have said anything . I bet I have ruined it all ! I'm so stupid , why didn't I just die ! I was to harsh on him . Saying I don't believe him , when he poured his heart out to me ! I didn't but that's just my fault . I think I'm going to cry , but I can't let Texas see that . There's no hope , the tears are rolling down my face .

" I want him back Texas , it can't end , I love him too much " ! Texas puts her arm around me , and gives me the first proper hug I've had since this whole thing ! " it's ok Doug don't cry , he won't ever leave you I promise " Texas says holding me tight .

Ste's pov

Right the flowers are ready , Leah has got the music , and Leanne has called a cab . You can do this Ste ! He did it for you , so you can do it for him. This has got to show Doug I love him ! "'Leah , Lucas are you ready to go and see daddy Doug ? " I say as I get their coats . " is daddy Doug going to die ? " Leah says . " no sweetheart he is awake and we are going to see him " i tell her , trying to hold the thought of it nearly happening earlier to my self .

Doug's pov

Texas has reassured me a bit , but I still can't help crying . I want him here right now . I don't care about the argument , I'm just really scared . I need him to hold my hand and tell me il be ok . I have to kiss him , and tell him I was wrong , I'm so stupid . Everything is my fault !

Ste's pov

We are here . I'm stood outside the door but I'm scared to go in. This better go well or I'm done for ! "Come on Leah and Lucas , remember your first !"

Doug's pov

Leah and Lucas have just come through the door . I'm sat up in bed crying they can't see me like this ! Pull yourself together Doug , for them ! Leah has a portable stereo with her , that's weird and Lucas is holding a piece of paper , I can't see what it says though ?

Leah has just pressed play and " I will always love you" by Celine dion just came on . I love that song , but where's ste ?

Ste's pov

Ok ste you can do this just walk through the door .

Doug's looking at me strangely . With the music and my suit , I'm not surprised ! I'm going over to the bed and Leanne is following me in . " Doug " I say the tears are already building up. " I love you more than anyone else could ever love you in this world . Ever since we got our deli we have been partners . But when we married we made it our job to be partners for life ! I know we have had our ups and downs but I think that's what makes us who we are . We are opposites Doug and will never totally agree on everything but that's how I like it . I don't love Brendan , you have got to accept that was my past , but your my future . I know we're already married . But it didn't all go to plan . The problem was I was always the one that wanted to ask you !" I'm getting down on one knee , and I've signalled Lucas . " I have a piece of paper for you daddy Doug " Lucas says giving it to him . He opens it up and immediately bursts into tears. The paper reads " will you marry me " I say . I'm now on one knee holding a ring . " so will you do it all over again then "? I ask him .

Doug's pov

I can't stop crying ! I thought we were over ten minutes ago and now he has asked me to marry him again . I can't seem to get the words out but I know the answers yes ! He is now stood up and has walked over to me . I put out my hand , and he holds it tight . Through the blubbering I whisper a small " yes" and then fling my arms around him ! He kisses me so passionately every doubt I ever had flies away and I hold him in my arms never wanting to let go .


End file.
